Clear Liquid Diet Gatorade – They say colonoscopies are for adults. First, This is very annoying. The American Cancer Society recommends colonoscopy starting at age 50. My mother is 50 years old and has made it clear that she is not old. He is wise, He brings forth beauty and youth. Don’t worry mom. Second, I still consider myself a spring chicken. I had to have a colonoscopy the other day. Despite my hopes and efforts to prepare well, Things do not go as planned.
Because of my appendicitis in Australia (if you missed this drama, read it here: https:///@kendelish/my-hospital-visit-and-lessons-from-the-legendary-lillypad-fb12dc0b95ea) the doctor it encouraged me to take medicine. Colonoscopy to make sure that nothing obvious is done in the colon. I had an appointment with the doctor about a week ago and scheduled my colonoscopy for next Monday. Before leaving the office, the receptionist stayed in her room to check the test results.
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“Stop using the herbs and medicines you are currently taking. Nuts for five days No seeds. tomatoes, This includes fruits and vegetables such as strawberries.”
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No more almond butter! No more hazelnut chips! No more mixing! You can cut off my right hand while doing that.
After 10 seconds of quick mental thinking, I found out that this is only a few days past. His attention came back when the receptionist said something about clear liquid food. Then he said he needed to take pills. He went on to explain that he needed to buy 10 oz of magnesium pills and mix the entire container of Miralax in 64 oz of Gatorade. Starting at 6pm on Sunday, you must drink half of this torturous broth over the next two hours. Then take the other half at 1:30 a.m. Two hours later, drink another 24 ounces of clear liquid. Uncontrollable bowel movements occur naturally.
I left the office and the nuts were gone. But then a brilliant idea came to my brain. I’ve been eating the Whole30 diet (mostly paleo with a few exceptions) for the past two months to reduce digestive issues. I have been avoiding sweets for two months. This is a very big task for me. I usually like to eat healthy, but I also have a sweet tooth. It is about the size of a tyrannosaurus rex. Leave me unattended in the kitchen. I became an uncontrollable sugar-craving beast, eating anything sweet in my path. That being said, I believe everyone should like what they like. If I love food and have to cleanse my entire system for three days, then it’s a good opportunity to treat myself. So behave yourself.
In a few days Burgers and chocolate appear faster than a McDonalds truck. Before I knew it, Sunday was the day leading up to my big day. I was surfing at the beach with my friends (by the way, surfing is my new favorite thing. I’ve only done it a few times, but I think I’d dedicate my life to surfing if I could . But it was a lot of fun. . I’ll save surfing for another post).
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I spent the day breaking the gnar that means catching them in waves. For me that means multiple tosses in Mother Nature’s washing machine. My friends packed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch and I had no limit. While watching pb and j’s, I started drooling at the same time. The only thing stopping them from showing their faces is the knowledge that they will be forced to do it to the Dairy Queen when they get home. It was on my mind all weekend. As for dessert, it doesn’t get much better than a hurricane (pizza pie from BJs, Peach Wave mixed with Peach Wave, and Salt N Straw snickerdoodle ice cream on a waffle cone are the only contenders I can think of by them). The Silk Pie Blizzard was my last supper.
We finished surfing and headed to DQ around 5:00. I have to start taking my magic pills at 6:00. It’s only a 90 minute drive to our house. It’s late, but it’s not a big deal.
As I savored every bite of my Blizzard, I decided to look up the details of the colonoscopy to mentally prepare myself for the night ahead. While searching for information, I suddenly remembered the receptionist saying something about clear liquid food. As this thought entered my head, I inhaled another spoonful of my Hurricane. At this time, my mother called me.
I immediately called the doctor to admit that I couldn’t follow the instructions. He told me that he was the third person to call him today about the failure of the first meal. I thought this was meant to make me feel better, but it made me question the wisdom of our country. Healthy young people like me, he explained, are usually okay if we’re not comfortable with preparation because our inner workings are so good. He was then prescribed a double dose of Magnesium Citrate. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but if I could go a day without eating, by golly, I would bathe in 10 gallons of that stuff.
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Back home, it’s game time. Don’t waste. I went to the shop and bought spare parts and started production. Many friends have warned me about how bad this fix is. I’m sure tonight will be a little different than it was when I was in middle school with my football team. But my competitive nature pushed me to prove my friends wrong. This is something you should enjoy. If there is a pass,
My first game, Magnesium Citrate, tasted horribly wrong in what can only be described as Sour Patch Kids. Then I mixed my Gatorade and Miralax juice in the smoothest glass vase I could find. I threw away the pills and went to the bathroom. My feet were decorated with the most intricate cotton socks, and I lit a lemon-scented candle. Turn on Norah Jones; Collecting my Kindle, I sat on my throne and the rest is history.
The night was not as bad as my friends had told me. I didn’t just clean my inner corridors, but also my room, I also did a deep clean of the closet and iTunes library. If someone wants a complete cleaning experience. It is highly recommended to schedule a colonoscopy.
Now it’s time to complete the last and easiest part of the puzzle. trips to the clinic; quick rest, Sleep peacefully and wake up feeling like a new woman. Mother kindly made the time I had for me. After a few minutes of entering the office and checking in, the nurse was there to begin the final procedure. This is very simple. Before the nurse brought my vitamins, she asked me to empty my bowels. A unique question; But for everything there is a first. I did so and the nurse came back unsteady.
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Obviously, they couldn’t do the procedure today because I wasn’t clear enough. He was ordered to go home and start the whole preparation work again. No seed, seedless Do not eat all day. Then you go to the store, I had gathered, gathered many victims, and spent the night on the throne.
As much as I wanted to be angry with the nurse, I couldn’t. This is 100% my fault. teacher from kindergarten The teachers asked me to read all the instructions carefully. Ignoring this advice is a very unfortunate situation.
It is my sincere wish that this story prevents future colonoscopes from making the same mistake. However, if you are the rebellious type and want to follow in my footsteps, I understand. A spotless room where you can enjoy the best Blizzard of your life. A renewed appreciation for reading instructions and you’ll be a member of an elite group of people who can claim to have swallowed two bottles of Miralax. Dates. Now, if that’s not an act to be proud of, I don’t know what is. Give yourself the honor of feeling cleaner than ever. I saw my gastroenterologist for the first time in September 2014 and I was having 30+ seizures a day. I explained to him the terrible intestinal problems I was having, including bloody stools and extreme weakness.
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